We can all agree that slaps, shoves, punches, and kicks have no place in a relationship. What the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation showed us is that young adults at every level are dealing with issues of domestic violence. Chris Brown has since publicly apologized for the February 2009 event and has laid low for the past 2 years.
This week Chris Brown returned to the news. While promoting his newest album – FAME – Brown exploded at an interview on Good Morning America, throwing a chair and breaking windows, in response to being asked questions about the Rihanna Situation.
Chris Brown has yet again publicly apologized for the incident, but to some the apology is too fast and not sincere enough to be taken seriously. We’re not here to discuss the Chris Brown/Rihanna saga, as much as we are here to discuss the role of apology and how it works in relationships.
When do the words ‘I’m Sorry’ not go far enough? In most relationships, the words “I’m Sorry” come up. How often they come up and how sincere they are perceived usually determines whether they have the effect intended. When those words are used constantly, it is usually a tell-tale sign of an unhealthy relationship. We teach little kids to say “I’m Sorry” whenever they make a simple mistake, but as teens and adults, we must remember that ‘I’m Sorry’ is not a panacea. Not all situations should be allowed to be swept away with just a few words.
Apology works when people believe that the person giving it has had enough time to reflect, change, and is sincere. Don’t get me wrong, forgiveness is always needed to recover. When people experience abuse at the hands of someone else, they often go through many emotions. Victims of abuse take their abuser back several times and often feel guilty for feeling the urge to leave. If a victim is able to exit the bad relationship safely, that person will need to go through the gamut of emotions prior to coming to a state of forgiveness. But remember, forgiveness does not mean that you condone what was done. Perhaps Oprah has the best definition of what forgiveness looks like. Forgiveness is when you are finally able to stop allowing the past to control you.
Even in good relationships, people make mistakes. Apologies can be good when used scarcely and for simple things. For both men and women, abuse is NEVER okay in a relationship, no matter how many ‘I’m sorry’s’ follow it.
What are your thoughts on the situation and on how the words “I’m Sorry” are used in relationships? We’d love for you to leave a comment below!
