All that is necessary for an INTERVENTION to take place is for there to be a . . .

BEHAVIOR of CONCERN

If the behaviors are specific, and they are or have been observed by you and/or someone else –especially if they are (or have been) documented, then you are ready to attempt a simple INTERVENTION.  Begin with the . . .

Specific, observable behavior(s) that cause(s) you to be concerned.

And this, then, is the format for . . .

SHARING CONCERN

• I care . . .

Step 1 ”People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”  Be sure that caring is communicated first in the best and most appropriate ways.

• I see . . .

Step 2 Here you share the specific, observable, (often documented) behaviors  that cause your concern in a way that communicates dignity and respect to the person with whom you are intervening.  A ground rule of “NO  interruption” is especially helpful for this step of the intervention with a solid promise of an opportunity for rebuttal afterwards.  In fact, it’s best to respectfully ask for that “NO interruption” before delivering the first THREE steps of this process.

• I feel . . .

Step 3 At this point, you convey appropriate feelings by saying, “I feel angry, upset, worried, confused, afraid, concerned, sick” or whatever works to make your point.  You take ownership for your own feelings with one or more “I Statements” and share some of the mental, emotional and/or physical costs to you (and others?) because of your relationship(s) with the person who is misbehaving.

LISTEN!

Step 4 To listen, at this point, means to listen actively.  Your aim is to allow for rebuttal; but more importantly, it is to get the clearest possible understanding of whether or not your concerns are warranted.  It is possible that there is a true and reasonable explanation for the concerns you have.  However, it is usually more likely that there is NOT… or you probably wouldn’t be considering an intervention.

• I want . . .

Step 5 If the rebuttal/explanation does NOT lessen your concerns, this is where you explain how you want behaviors to change.  It is important to be specific and operational in defining your expectations.  Tell the person exactly what you want them to do differently, and how they need to demonstrate the necessary changes in behavior.

• I will . . .

Step 6 The “I will” message has two parts:  (1)  “I will  help you in these (appropriate) ways to change the behaviors,” and (2)  I will take these (appropriate) actions if the behavior does NOT change.  (Choices & Consequences)

At all times, the person(s) intervening must take care of themselves and the environment for which they are responsible (work, family, organization, etc.) and promise to do only what they are certain they can and will do.  This is exceptionally important with the consequences aspect of the “I will” message.  If consequences are promised for failure to alter behavior and NOT meted out, this entire process is an exercise in futility.

People are not willing to change behavior unless they have an internal or external motivation for doing so.  Internal motivation is always best, but again, if the misbehaving person was internally motivated to change, there would be no need for intervention in the first place.  The intervening person(s) must motivate appropriate motivation in the person whose behavior is presenting a problem.

CONTRACT

Step 7 Now, it is important to enter into a contract (formal or informal) with the misbehaving person where (1) expectations and timelines are clear;  (2) available support is promised, defined, and delivered; and  (3)  the misbehaver agrees to alter the behavior of concern according to the stated expectations.

If the behavior changes accordingly, the INTERVENTION is successful.  If the behavior does NOT change as expected, the INTERVENTION must be repeated and/or taken to a higher level.

A “higher level” of intervention may mean:

·     with greater communicative intensity,

·     with stronger consequences,

·     with more people involved,

·     with a greater authority involved,

·     or a combination of these.

Robert Simon
Violence Prevention Specialist
Start Strong Wichita