When do YOU think kids are ready to be in a relationship?
That is the question we asked 300 middle school youth and the results are astonishing. I think we can all remember back to when we had our first crush. I have asked that question many times with groups of adults and I always get a wide range of answers, from Kindergarten to College. Personally, my first crush was Danny. I always hoped to swing next to him on the playground during recess. I was in Kindergarten.
At some point in my short life, I figured out there were more types of relationships than the ones you have with your family and your friends. There was this other kind of relationship that attracts you to it. We all experience it at some point in our lives. So, if we are experiencing this crush type feeling, are we already beginning to build our foundation for what a significant relationship looks and feels like?
When we asked 300 middle school students in Wichita when they THINK they are ready to be in a relationship, the majority said in Middle School. When we asked them when DO their friends begin to begin to be in relationships, the majority said ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.
We understand that relationship can be interpreted in many ways and we all know kids who say they are ‘going out’ but never actually go anywhere with this person. However, the reality is that kids are thinking about relationships and beginning to form what is OK and what is not OK in a relationship. They are developing how they communicate with a partner, what it is they like about potential boyfriends/girlfriends, and most importantly how they treat and allow themselves to be treated by a partner. We need to meet kids where they are and help them build a healthy foundation for future relationships.
Is it time you sat down and talked to your child about relationships? You could start by asking the same questions we did and see where the conversation leads. You might be surprised. You have an opportunity to help guide them in this development process. Start relating before they start dating.
Nancy Carroll
Program Director – Start Strong Wichita, a project of Catholic Charities
