Watch for the warning signs in a dating partner:
- Extreme jealousy
- A dating partner becomes jealous about the time you spend with members of the opposite sex.
- A dating partner becomes jealous about the time you spend in other activities, school, and your family.
- A dating partner requires constant monitoring of you, where you are, who you are with. They become agitated if it takes more than a minute to respond to text messages, calls, or emails.
- Controlling behavior
- Quickly moving the relationship forward
- Unpredictable moods
- Verbal abuse
- Hypersensitivity
- Working to isolate you from your friends and family
- Using force during an argument
- Threatening violence either to you or to him or herself
Watch for the changes in yourself or your friend:
- Spending less time with friends and family
- Lack of involvement in previous activities
- Sleeping with a laptop/computer on
- Sleeping with a cell phone under the pillow
- Falling behind on schoolwork
- Lying to parents
- Lying to friends
- A dramatic change in mood
If you have recognized yourself or your friend in many of the above mentioned ‘warning signs’ it’s time to re-examine the relationship. Below are some tips to keeping yourself and your friends safe.
Keep yourself safe:
- Keep your cell phone charged and in a pocket on you, not in jacket pocket or a purse.
- Memorize numbers in case you need to use a land line.
- Carry enough cash for cab fare
- Know that if you are afraid or concerned for your safety in any way, call 911.
- Tell your parents/guardians where you are going to be and what time to expect you home. Stick to that time and call if you are going to be late for any reason.
- Use your parents as an excuse. Examples include:
- My parents are expecting me.
- My mom will call the cops if I don’t show up on time.
- My dad will wait up, and he will know if I’m drunk (or high).
- Stay sober. Alcohol and drugs will impair your ability to think clearly.
Already in an abusive relationship?
- Tell and get help from a trusted adult.
- Develop a detailed safety plan. Click here.
- Develop, practice, and carryout a break-up plan. Click here.
- Consider how the abuser will respond and plan accordingly.
- Use brief, concise responses; remember you only need to say things once.
- Choose a place that will avoid public drama, but that has adults close by.
- Take a strong friend or adult with you.
- Block the abuser’s calls; change your cell phone number if necessary.
- Understand that the abuser may use threats to manipulate you back into the relationship, but you are not responsible for his or her actions. If he or she threatens to do harm to him or herself or to you, call 911. Additionally, report the concern to parents, administrators, and counselors.
